Wedding Vows | Mexico | Living in Mexico

Wedding Vows

My daughter Samantha and her fiance Kip will, Dios mediante, be getting married this October. They are, no doubt, considering the content of their vows. Carefully, I hope. Seems like for the last thirty years or so, people have been writing their own. Personally, I'm not sure about the wisdom of this. Sort of like being your own lawyer.

"A lawyer who represents himself has a fool for a client."

In my day, we didn't have a choice. The preacher told us what we were gonna promise each other, and we dutifully said all those things—whether we meant them or not.

I was thinking about all this when the issue of marriage vows in Mexico hit the news. In Mexico, a
judge tells you what your vows are. And believe me, they are not something a modern, liberated bride wants to hear or say. Just check the expression on the Mexican bride's face below.

boda

Not exactly radiating joy, is she? She has kind of a dull, vacant look. End of the good life. Nothing more to look forward to.

Why?

The groom, meanwhile, is practicing his stern, head-of-household look, gloves in hand, ready to whack his bride with if she gives him any lip.

Why?

Because they just exchanged the following vows:

The man, whose main endowments are valor and strength, should give and will give to the woman, protection, nourishment and direction, always treating her like the most delicate, sensitive, and finest part of himself, with the magnanimity and generous benevolence that the strong should give to the weak, especially when the weak one delivers herself up to him, and when society itself has confided her to his care.

The woman, whose main endowments are abnegation, beauty, compassion, perspicacity and tenderness, should give to her husband obedience; please him, assist him, advise and console him, always treating him with the veneration that should be given to the person who supports and defends one. That should be done with a delicacy to avoid awakening the most brusque, irritable and hard part of his character.

Allow me to interpret. Girls, the guy is the boss. Do whatever he tells you to and be nice to him, and he'll feed and house you. Don't piss him off, because he's naturally grouchy and can't be held responsible for his reactions if you do.

Incidentally, those vows were written by a lawyer. A male one. As if you couldn't tell.

Just something to think about, Sam and Kip, as you consider just what promises you want to make to each other.
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